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Sometimes I get so tired,
Just trying to find a place,
To lay my head,
I look up to the sky,
I feel the warmest light comfort me,
I’ve seen the great heights,
Reminding me… that I’m alive,
I don’t wanna die,
I don’t wanna waste another day,
Or night,
I know there’s something more,
Than what we’re living for,
I see it in the stars,
I feel it on the shores,
I know there’s something,
I know there’s something more.
I think we’re all afraid,
That we might be alone,
Alone down here,
We all want to have some faith,
At least that’s true in my case,
To just believe,
I’ve seen the great height,
Reminding me… that I’m alive,
I don’t wanna die,
I don’t wanna waste another day,
Or night,
I know there’s something more,
Than what we’re living for,
I see it in the stars,
I feel it on the shore,
I know there’s something,
This world may crumble,
Into the ocean,
It could all end tonight,
I undermined you,
Then try to find you,
My only source of light,
There breathing,
I am,
Breathing,
I am,
Alive,
I don’t wanna die,
I don’t wanna waste another day or night,
I know there’s something more,
Than what we’re living for,
I see it in the stars,
I feel it on the shore,
I know that I’m alive,
I don’t wanna die,
I don’t wanna waste another day,
Or night,
I know there’s something more,
Than what we’re living for,
I see it in the stars,
I feel it on the shore,
I know there’s something more.

More- Tyrone Wells

Alls unfair in love and war…

You’d think I’d be smarter than this, but you’re sadly mistaken.

Alright it started, what, a week or so ago? Idk, it feels like a week ago. I’m not sure.

Anyhow, I was hangin out with Janelly like normal right, and then Nick came over. He was being normal towards me (it was the day he and that Alicia chick broke up) and then Janelly had to go in and get something. Well when she left (i was sitting next to him) he kissed me in a suprise attack.

I’m all like but I kissed him back, then he stopped kissing me and was like ‘This doesn’t mean we’re dating’ and I’m like ‘okay’. So then he kissed me again, then stopped, then he started making out with me.

All this started and ended in about five minutes.

Then I said I had to leave so Janelly made him leave too. Naturally, he walked me home. So he kissed me, then kissed me, then kissed me AGAIN but this time he said…

‘Friends with benefits? Yes? No?’ and my smart self said ‘Yes’. Then we got to the fence right before ours paths went in separate directions. He kissed me goodbye, and I just walked home.

I felt really bad about that, because to me ‘friends with benefits’ means using someone for a physical relationship. I told him I felt like i was being used and that i was only an option and his EXACT words were…

‘Im not using you for kisses, because that sounds retarded. However you are just an option, but that isnt necessarily a bad thing, considering it means you have a chance.’

That somehow changed my mind, so I decided to keep things the way they were. Plus, I got free kisses ^.^

Wellllll…now my story comes to today. I went over Janelly’s and he said he would come over if I came to get him. I told him to meet me halfway, so he did. When he saw me, he gave me a tiny peck on the lips and whispered ‘thats all you get’ and we walked. I was kind of disappointed.

Anyways, when we got to Janelly’s, he was apparently in some kind of asshole mood, because he was pissing me off nonstop, like just talking about things that he normally wouldn’t over texts (other girls and shit like that) but me being the quiet girl I am, didn’t say anything about it.

Then, he ditched Janelly and I for Kim and Nina (hoes.)

Whatever, I don’t even want to talk to him right now, but I know I’ll end up doing it anyways, because self-destroyal is my latest hobby.

:/

‘Give me therapy, I’m a walking travesty, but I’m smiling at everything.’

Pick a side, dumbass.

Nick seriously has some confusion problems he needs to work on. Like two days ago, we were talking on Playlist…

NICK- Listen to ‘Say Goodbye-Skillet’ NOW and look up the lyrics

ME- can it wait like 5 minutes?

NICK- NOW

ME- okay okay

For those of you who dont know, the chorus goes… Don’t say goodbye/ Cuz I don’t wanna hear those words tonight/ Cuz maybe its not the end for you and i/ and although we knew this time would come for me and you/ Don’t say anything tonight if you’re gonna say goodbye.

ME- what are you trying to say?

NICK- nothing that I’ll admit to right now.

Well, the VERY next day, I saw him at the homecoming game all close with his girlfriend Alicia (who seriously looks retarded, not even joking) and its like ‘oh i can totally tell you miss me -.-’

Well then later i went off on him and im like

ME- When, if at all, do you plan on admitting what it is you wanted to admit?

NICK- I don’t think at all.

SERIOUSLY MAN?! Ugh. I hate him…

 

 

No, no I don’t.

Anyways, school has been good. The whole school news thing went well. I’ll probably stick with it (: Leigh and I are on it, were FAMOUS!

And as I mentioned earlier, I went to the homecoming game. With jessica. And my city lost, again. We havent won a homecoming game in 11 years dude.

Anywhoooo, thats pretty much it. G’bye.

`amy`

 

 

Christofer Drew…

Just figured I’d make this because I’m watching a bunch of Nevershoutnever! vids on Youtube. I think I have an addiction…

“Im in trouble, I’m an addict…” xD

So far, my favorite song is First Dance, just because at the end he says “Who wants cookiesssss?” (:

For those of you who DON’T know (so basically all the people who haven’t lived yet) Christofer Drew IS nevershoutnever!, so like a one man band, which is awesome.

If you have never heard of him before, get your ass on youtube RIGHT NOW and look up ‘nevershoutnever!’ because if you don’t…

I will find you.

 

 

 

Haha just kiddin’…sorta.

Stay young <3

“Being able to act like a tard with you means the world to me”

I love my friends. Love them to death. I cant believe how fast time is going, its so freaky and insane. I love life right now, even though Nick is being a very confused young boy. I dont really care right now, because life goes by too fast to take it slow. Im so sentimental and Im so overwhelmed.

Having a slight identity crisis, like I feel the need to dye my hair different colors and just change, which is probably normal. But it’ll pass. When I go back in a couple months and read through my archives, I’ll be fine. Who knows, so much will have changed by then probably.

10.10.08, first day Nick and I went out the first time.

10.17.08 first time i broke up with him

12.16.08 we went out the second time, and i fell in utter and complete love.

It will be exactly a year since we went out the first time this coming Saturday.

So much has changed… 

I remember the first time I layed eyes on him ever in fifth grade. He was the new kid sitting at lunch playing his Gameboy, isolating himself from the world. I thought “Loser”. Too bad I didnt know that so-called loser would be the love of my life today who I kissed and he cheated on me and broke my heart.

So sad.

“and the people in the photographs look happier than you are…”

We all Roll Along- The Maine

Pages

“The changes tell just who we are…” Pages (acoustic)-There For Tomorrow

Ayooo

Spent the night at Janelly’s last night. I was kinda blah because Im still sick, but more so congested. We stayed up until like 3am just talking, it was pretty cool, shes one of my best friends :]

Today we went to the mall, which was fun but I had her take me home because my tummy was hurting D: I got some cool clothes though.

Well, I auditioned for the Dragon Report at school with Leigh. I should find out some time this week if I made it on or not, I think I have a pretty fair shot

Welllll that pretty much it. Oh wait, guess who has a new girlfriend? Nick.

The chick hes going out with is named Alicia and shes ugly as hell. Blech.

Right now Im on the fence with the whole ‘Nick’ issue. I think I have an equal shot either way. So who knows…

Oh, and I saw Chelsie on Wednesday. We were suppsoed to go to the movies but she got in trouble last minute and could only visit at school. She came after school to see her old teacher so Leigh and I waited for her. I cried right when I saw her, I missed her so much. Ms. Cornell even said I was a good friend because I was crying, which was odd, because Ms. Cornell is usually mean. But I guess everyone has their moments.

-amy

Its that time of year again…

Im sick. Again. I never fail to get sick every single fall. Seriously. Right now my head hurts, my nose is stuffy, and my throat hurts.

Im chewing gum, and it sort of helps. Stupid fucking oranges and vitamins didnt even fucking help. I literally ate an orange, drank that Airborne shit thats supposed to help your immune system, took sooo many vitamins and i STILL got sick!! Tell me how the fuck that works. Its unfair, very very very unfair.

No, I dont have the swine flu.

Anyways, Nick and I aren’t really making progress. Its not looking good.

“Its the same old story, everyone knows. One heart holding on, one letting go.”

-sniffs- I should reread the Twilight saga tomoro, since Im not going anywhere. I wanted to do a bunch of stuff this weekend too. UGHHH!!!

In other news…

I signed up to be on the ‘Dragon Report’ (my schools news broadcast thing). I still have to audition next Thursday. Im excitedddd

Ill be on NJHS this year again Yayyy!

-cough- Well Im exhausted. Goodnight.

-amy-

Two is Better Than One <33

Well…I have some good news, some sort of sad news, and some more sad news.

Ill tell you the  good news first ^^

Sam and Nick broke up! Yes! Today! She told him she doesnt love him anymore, stupid hoe. What I wouldnt give to pound her stupid face in…

Anyways, heres the sad news. I dont think were going to get back together. I mean, you cant really say never, because anything is possible. But the odds are against us. So yeah, i guess we’ll remain friends forever.

And the moderately sad news, Chelsie and Cullen broke up :[ Cullen said it was because they never saw eachother, which i guess is understandable.

-sigh- teenage love is difficult. very very difficult.

In other news, heres my music CD wishlist for this fall...

Cant Stop Wont Stop- The Maine

Love Drunk- Boys Like Girls

Boys Like Girls

and...Avril Lavigne's new CD, not sure what its called...

Also, Im saving up to rent an acoustic guitar. So far the only person Ive told is Wade, and thats it. I want to keep it a secret to I can surprise people :] Well…I guess its not really a secret anymore, since I just put it on the internet…Oh well ^.^

Luff yew <3

P.S- You MUST listen to ‘Two is Better Than One- Boys Like Girls’ Its such a good song, but its sad.

Nowhere but up ^.^

First things first. New pictures up! Check it outt.

Okay, so schools getting a bit better. I like my Science teacher and my Social Studies teacher. Actually, I found out that I’ve known my science teacher’s dad since I was 5. I used to visit him while he was recovering from surgeries. Hes nice. He said my teacher was ‘a pain in the ass growing up’ xD!

Nick and I talk regularly now, just not really in school. He thinks people would start rumors if we talked a lot in school -.- Oh well.

‘He sees everything black and white. Never let nobody see him cry. I dont let nobody see me wishin he was mine.’ -I’d Lie; Taylor Swift.

That, my friends, is why she won at the VMA’s. Shes the best song writer I know, because her songs are real and deep and personal. Beyonce dancing in spandex isnt really what I’d call ‘VMA material’. Kanye, you better have apologized, because she DID deserve that award.

I hope school gets better-er. Tomorrow I’m going to a football game for my school, and Chels will be there Ill run to her in slow-mo. Thursday Im going to my schools Welcome Back dance, which will be funnnn :]

Well i shall go, ill update you on how schools going regularly, so keep checkin in :3

Luff ya! -amy

First day of school…The Review.

Okay, Im  kinda sad. Here’s why it was bad…

1. My old TEACHERS asked what happened with Nick.

2. I have like three classes with Nick.

3. I dont have lunch with any of my friends.

4. It was humid, so my hair went POOF!

5. Some one asked if Nick got me PREGNANT!!!!

6. Chelsie WOULDVE been in my cluster if she hadnt moved!!! WAHHH!!! She wouldve been in my english class. They called out her name during attendance.

Those are the main reasons. But there were some positive things.

1. I got computer class in my first semester.

2. A lot of my friends are in some of my classes.

3. I get to see Nick every day, whether he wants to or not xD

4. Not too many people asked about him.

5. I didnt trip like last year :]

Well all in all, it was okay. Itll probably be better tomorrow. Or worse…

-sniff-