Freshman Year: One Trimester Down, Two to Go
December 3, 2010

Excuses, excuses, I know..

I probably wouldn’t be typing this if I wasn’t sick and home from school today.. High school has been going well, for those interested. I enjoyed the classes I had, but as for the teachers, they are a whole different story.

A lot of the teachers are in it solely for the money. One teacher I had told my friend to “shut the hell up” (I swear, she said that) and “Why should I stay after to help students? I don’t get paid for it” She’s retiring in a couple years, and lets just say, no one will miss her. When one of her former students is her doctor, and she’s having some kind of major surgery, she’ll be sorry…

Thankfully, though, there’s that small handful of teachers left that actually care about their students and the kind of education they get, the teachers that ask how you’re doing and genuinely care, who give great advice and feel like a second mom ♥

I haven’t made too many new friends, more-so acquaintences and people I’ll talk to in class. My current classes are decent so far, its hard to really tell since the second trimester just started.

Blah. Freshmen year is a drag.

In my spare time, I hang out with Nick (boyfriend of two-ish years), go to church, and try to spend time with friends..well..the friends I haven’t lost :/ but I’m not going to burden anyone with that story.

I feel like life is becoming a cycle..In the summer, everything drifts along, and towards the end of it, a lot takes a turn for the worst. In the fall, I lose track of my identity and feel pretty useless. In the winter, things perk up, and relationships rebuild, and everything seems to have a spark to it. Then, in spring, everything is light and happy and busy.

Hopefully this isn’t how it will always be.

Right now, I’ve taken an interest in acting, writing, and cooking. Maybe when I get my braces off, I’ll try modeling. The worst they can say is no, right? I have a few homecoming pictures, I’ll put those up eventually 🙂

Well, this is a pretty long post and I hope you enjoyed it at least a little bit, leave comments, questions, or advice, and I’ll always reply. Promise 🙂

Advertisements

Mid-Summer ’10… can you believe it?
July 27, 2010

Ooh, my stomach hurts, hang on..okay I’m fine..

Okay so its nearing the end of July, and July has been decent, but I really think June was better, it seems like I got a lot more accomplished lol.

In July I had some relationship drama with Nick, and he liked this one girl and he had to chose between her and me, and in the end he chose me. I’m glad, because that chick was such a whiny b!tch. Hopefully we’ll never hear from her again.

Last weekend I went to my aunt’s cottage near Lake Huron/Saginaw Bay, it was really fun. I drove a boat, went tubing, spent A LOT of time at the beach, souvenir shopping, etc. I would love to go again, and maybe bring a friend next time.

In other news..

Mark and Michelle’s baby is due in less than a month now! I’m so excited. I had this crazy dream where it was a baby boy and they named him Poncho. They decided not to find out the sex of the baby, but I really hope its a baby girl. Girls would be easier for me to relate to, since well..I am one xD

Ohh, and Nick got a puppy! Its a beagle puppy named Rascal and he’s so cute and tiny and I love him (: I played with him all day yesterday and I’m gunna see him again today when I go with Nick and his mom to take Rascal to the vet. I hope he’s okay because he’s been getting sick a lot, but doesn’t have diarrhea. He was the runt so he’s already pretty tiny.  I ❤ Rascal 😀

Well I’m gunna go make lunch. Love you guys! (:

Oh, and I don’t like Justin Bieber. Sorry.

s.u.m.m.e.r.2.0.1.0
July 12, 2010

First summer of the decade and so far its been fantastic! I hope you’re able to say the same.

Okay first off, I’m absolutely loving all the free time and extra sleep and just everything. I feel so chill and relaxed and stress free, its amazing. Everyone just seems a lot happier, and the positive energy feels nice..

I’ve gotten a lot of firsts this summer, like meeting my first crossdresser, going to a wave pool, swimming with nick, etc. And its all been really fun, more of my plans include..

  • Going to my aunt’s cabin
  • Going to Chicago when my baby niece/nephew is born
  • Going to my city’s carnival
  • Putting a desk in my room/getting a new phone

So I’m sort of a busy bee, but I like being able to do what I please, school is so stressful >.<

Well I’m going to go do something xD I love you guys! Ttfn.

Summer Wishes.. (:
June 18, 2010

Okay, let me begin by saying..

TODAY WAS MY LAST DAY OF SCHOOL. Yep, thats right baby. Yours truly is now part of the incoming freshman class, aka Class of 2014. I’m excited and terrified and happy and sad all at the same time..

  • Excited- I’m usually up for trying new things, so this will be the best four years of my life, SO FAR.
  • Terrified- Bigger school, stricter teachers, older kids. A lot of sophomores don’t like me.. 🙂
  • Happy- One step closer to being an adult, on my own, in the land of opportunity.
  • Sad- Old friends aren’t as close, new friends are already moving. Its losing in order to gain.

So thats what I’m anticipating from high school so far. But I can’t knock it til I try it, right?

As for summer, my fears are simple. Nick and I will drift apart, I will waste my summer doing nothing all day, I’ll end it on a bad note, etc. I just want this to be the opposite of last year. It started out basically the same as last year, as soon as the clock hit 11:39 I started to cry. The only difference was that we were at the park, and it wasn’t raining. No rain=good omen (:

The skies were blue and the future was bright, so Nick, Leigh, Josh, random people, and I all set out to go to lunch. That was kind of fun, but I’m generally not a ”big group” kind of girl, I’m at my happiest when theres four or five people lol. At the end of the day, it was just me, Nick, Leigh and Josh. We just walked around aimlessly, giving me tan lines on my forehead and arms and chest >.<

So when Nick walked me home, I made him promise that the summer wouldn’t change us. He looked me straight in the eye and said “I swear” and he can’t lie straight to my face so that gave me hope. Lets just hope he sticks to his word, and that the summer before high school will be the best one of my life.

“Our fingerprints don’t fade from the lives we touch” ❤ Leigh, Chelsie, Nick, Josh, Joel, Janelly, Emelina, Jorden, Laura, Lauren, Ciara, Jasmen, Dakota, Jillian, J, Cassie, Madison T, etc= some of the many people who I don’t want to forget, ever.

(: Happy February
February 2, 2010

Herlo (:

I can’t believe its already February. What about you? Craziness..

It’s February 1st, therefore Nick and I have been together a month now (: He asked me out at midnight on New Year’s. Did I mention that? I think I did. I dunno lol.

Chelsie, Leigh, and I hung out on Friday. We went to a coney island and Chels stole all the jelly from our table. Then she threw the packets at cars. It hit this one lady’s car and she got MAD. She threatened to jump Chels lmfaoo. Good times!

Then we had to drop Chels off at the elementary school a few blocks over since her grandma didn’t know how to get to Leigh’s. Leigh and I stayed at the playground for almost an hour.

 I called Nick and told him I didn’t feel safe, being alone like that at a playground at night. He actually came (: it was so nice.

Anyways, hopefully February will be good. I started Gym and Science extension today. I hope I don’t get raped in Gym class by the creepy teacher that Brandie is supposed to protect me from xDD

Nick’s best friend Nina switched from 7th to 8th grade. I hope she doesn’t cause problems for our relationship..

-sigh-

Peace!

 

The Right Choices
January 24, 2010

I chose Nick.

There, I said it. I broke up with Wade on Dec. 30th. Nick asked me out at midnight on New Years. Im happy now (:

I’m sorry I haven’t really had time to post, I’ve been ridiculously busy with school.

I just got done watching Teen Mom, can’t wait until the finale (:

I also like the shows The Buried Life and My Life as Liz (both on MTV). The Buried Life is very inspiring, and my life as liz is very funny and good.

Chelsie and I have gotten way closer on account of very personal reasons, too personal to post on here lol.

Well i gotta get off the computer, goodnight (:

Love Songs, Love Triangles, Lovesick.
December 30, 2009

Two is Better than One- Boys like Girls ft. Taylor Swift

Lets really break down this song, shall we?

“You came into my life and I thought ‘hey, you know, this could be something’ “

Ever since I layed eyes on Nick  and really looked at him, the first day of seventh grade, he’s been on my mind.

“Maybe its true, that I can’t live without you”

No matter what he says or does to hurt me, I keep coming back. I forgive him and move on, only to be hurt again. He’s like a magnet.

“There’s so much time, to figure out the rest of my life, and you’ve already got me coming undone.”

I’m only 13 years (and three quarters) old and I’ve already fallen completely in love with him. I don’t think I’ll ever honestly get over him. Sure, I did for about a week with Wade, but then I started talking to Nick again. Hell, maybe I’ll marry him someday.

“I remember every look upon your face, the way you roll your eyes, the way you taste. You make it hard for breathing”

I just love being around him, and his sense of humor, and his enthusiasm. I also remember his kisses, and how gentle and loving they were.

” ‘Cause when I close my eyes and drift away, I think of you and everythings okay”

I think about him a million times a day, and when I’m afraid or sad, he makes me feel safe.

“Two, is better than one”

Two is better than one ❤

So with that being said, I’m going to talk to Wade tonight. Probably going to break up with him, considering its not right to lead him on anyhow.

Guhh.

Happy New Years everyone! Hope you all had a better Christmas than I did. P.S- Remember Mark and Michelle, my brother and sister in law? Well Michelle is pregnant!!! 😀 !

Not. Single. ♥
November 26, 2009

Yup, thats right, I’ve finally found someone after 3 months of moping around because of Nick…

His name’s Wade :3 He’s greek and has long brown hair, big light brown eyes, and he’s just adorable. He’s really funny and nice, he opens doors  and cares about me. He makes me happy 🙂

I really hope things work out with us because he’s the only guy I’ve had feelings for this school year, and he helped me get over pretty boy Nick.

Happy Turkey Day everyone! Remember what you’re truly thankful for, because thats what matters most.

 

Alls unfair in love and war…
October 26, 2009

You’d think I’d be smarter than this, but you’re sadly mistaken.

Alright it started, what, a week or so ago? Idk, it feels like a week ago. I’m not sure.

Anyhow, I was hangin out with Janelly like normal right, and then Nick came over. He was being normal towards me (it was the day he and that Alicia chick broke up) and then Janelly had to go in and get something. Well when she left (i was sitting next to him) he kissed me in a suprise attack.

I’m all like 😮 but I kissed him back, then he stopped kissing me and was like ‘This doesn’t mean we’re dating’ and I’m like ‘okay’. So then he kissed me again, then stopped, then he started making out with me.

All this started and ended in about five minutes.

Then I said I had to leave so Janelly made him leave too. Naturally, he walked me home. So he kissed me, then kissed me, then kissed me AGAIN but this time he said…

‘Friends with benefits? Yes? No?’ and my smart self said ‘Yes’. Then we got to the fence right before ours paths went in separate directions. He kissed me goodbye, and I just walked home.

I felt really bad about that, because to me ‘friends with benefits’ means using someone for a physical relationship. I told him I felt like i was being used and that i was only an option and his EXACT words were…

‘Im not using you for kisses, because that sounds retarded. However you are just an option, but that isnt necessarily a bad thing, considering it means you have a chance.’

That somehow changed my mind, so I decided to keep things the way they were. Plus, I got free kisses ^.^

Wellllll…now my story comes to today. I went over Janelly’s and he said he would come over if I came to get him. I told him to meet me halfway, so he did. When he saw me, he gave me a tiny peck on the lips and whispered ‘thats all you get’ and we walked. I was kind of disappointed.

Anyways, when we got to Janelly’s, he was apparently in some kind of asshole mood, because he was pissing me off nonstop, like just talking about things that he normally wouldn’t over texts (other girls and shit like that) but me being the quiet girl I am, didn’t say anything about it.

Then, he ditched Janelly and I for Kim and Nina (hoes.)

Whatever, I don’t even want to talk to him right now, but I know I’ll end up doing it anyways, because self-destroyal is my latest hobby.

:/

‘Give me therapy, I’m a walking travesty, but I’m smiling at everything.’

Stay young <3
October 9, 2009

“Being able to act like a tard with you means the world to me”

I love my friends. Love them to death. I cant believe how fast time is going, its so freaky and insane. I love life right now, even though Nick is being a very confused young boy. I dont really care right now, because life goes by too fast to take it slow. Im so sentimental and Im so overwhelmed.

Having a slight identity crisis, like I feel the need to dye my hair different colors and just change, which is probably normal. But it’ll pass. When I go back in a couple months and read through my archives, I’ll be fine. Who knows, so much will have changed by then probably.

10.10.08, first day Nick and I went out the first time.

10.17.08 first time i broke up with him

12.16.08 we went out the second time, and i fell in utter and complete love.

It will be exactly a year since we went out the first time this coming Saturday.

So much has changed… 

I remember the first time I layed eyes on him ever in fifth grade. He was the new kid sitting at lunch playing his Gameboy, isolating himself from the world. I thought “Loser”. Too bad I didnt know that so-called loser would be the love of my life today who I kissed and he cheated on me and broke my heart.

So sad.

“and the people in the photographs look happier than you are…”

We all Roll Along- The Maine