Alls unfair in love and war…
October 26, 2009

You’d think I’d be smarter than this, but you’re sadly mistaken.

Alright it started, what, a week or so ago? Idk, it feels like a week ago. I’m not sure.

Anyhow, I was hangin out with Janelly like normal right, and then Nick came over. He was being normal towards me (it was the day he and that Alicia chick broke up) and then Janelly had to go in and get something. Well when she left (i was sitting next to him) he kissed me in a suprise attack.

I’m all like 😮 but I kissed him back, then he stopped kissing me and was like ‘This doesn’t mean we’re dating’ and I’m like ‘okay’. So then he kissed me again, then stopped, then he started making out with me.

All this started and ended in about five minutes.

Then I said I had to leave so Janelly made him leave too. Naturally, he walked me home. So he kissed me, then kissed me, then kissed me AGAIN but this time he said…

‘Friends with benefits? Yes? No?’ and my smart self said ‘Yes’. Then we got to the fence right before ours paths went in separate directions. He kissed me goodbye, and I just walked home.

I felt really bad about that, because to me ‘friends with benefits’ means using someone for a physical relationship. I told him I felt like i was being used and that i was only an option and his EXACT words were…

‘Im not using you for kisses, because that sounds retarded. However you are just an option, but that isnt necessarily a bad thing, considering it means you have a chance.’

That somehow changed my mind, so I decided to keep things the way they were. Plus, I got free kisses ^.^

Wellllll…now my story comes to today. I went over Janelly’s and he said he would come over if I came to get him. I told him to meet me halfway, so he did. When he saw me, he gave me a tiny peck on the lips and whispered ‘thats all you get’ and we walked. I was kind of disappointed.

Anyways, when we got to Janelly’s, he was apparently in some kind of asshole mood, because he was pissing me off nonstop, like just talking about things that he normally wouldn’t over texts (other girls and shit like that) but me being the quiet girl I am, didn’t say anything about it.

Then, he ditched Janelly and I for Kim and Nina (hoes.)

Whatever, I don’t even want to talk to him right now, but I know I’ll end up doing it anyways, because self-destroyal is my latest hobby.

:/

‘Give me therapy, I’m a walking travesty, but I’m smiling at everything.’

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First day of school…The Review.
September 9, 2009

Okay, Im  kinda sad. Here’s why it was bad…

1. My old TEACHERS asked what happened with Nick.

2. I have like three classes with Nick.

3. I dont have lunch with any of my friends.

4. It was humid, so my hair went POOF!

5. Some one asked if Nick got me PREGNANT!!!!

6. Chelsie WOULDVE been in my cluster if she hadnt moved!!! WAHHH!!! She wouldve been in my english class. They called out her name during attendance.

Those are the main reasons. But there were some positive things.

1. I got computer class in my first semester.

2. A lot of my friends are in some of my classes.

3. I get to see Nick every day, whether he wants to or not xD

4. Not too many people asked about him.

5. I didnt trip like last year :]

Well all in all, it was okay. Itll probably be better tomorrow. Or worse…

-sniff-

</3 Last day of Summer. Tribute.
September 8, 2009

I stare out into the horizon as the waves break against the shore. As if in a rush, it ends. The innocence. The love. The fun. The freedom. Gone, like a breeze. Sand in our hands, hard to hold onto, slipping through our fingers slowly. The wind breaks across my face as realization kicks in. We can’t hold onto anything anymore, nothing. Not the innocence. The love. The fun. The freedom. Nothing.

Thats my poem about summer ending, sad huh? Well yeah. Chelsie actually started school today. Im so worried about her right now its not even funny. If shes not okay, ill like freak out. Hm.

Well…Hmm. I guess that about it. The last day of summer. To end the suckiest of summers, its raining. The first day of summer it was raining too. A sign? I hope not.